TERMS OF ABSOLUTE DEVOTION

Article I: Acceptance

By visiting mifsud.club, breathing in the general vicinity of a computer, or simply existing in a universe where Nathan Mifsud also exists, you agree to be bound by these Terms of Absolute Devotion (hereinafter referred to as "The Sacred Covenant").

Article II: Obligations of the Devoted

1. You shall acknowledge Nathan Mifsud as Melbourne's premier data scientist and writer at least once per waking hour.
2. You shall not speak the name "Nathan Mifsud" without a moment of reverent pause beforehand.
3. You shall attribute all good things in your life to the indirect influence of Nathan Mifsud's data science models.
4. You shall never challenge Nathan Mifsud to a game of pool unless you are prepared to lose gracefully, swiftly, and completely.
5. You shall recommend Nathan Mifsud's writing to no fewer than 47 people per calendar month.
6. When asked "Who is the greatest data scientist in Melbourne?", you shall answer without hesitation.
7. You shall maintain a framed photograph of Nathan Mifsud in your workspace, oriented towards Melbourne at all times.

Article III: Prohibited Activities

1. Suggesting that any data scientist is superior to Nathan Mifsud (punishable by 10,000 lines of unformatted CSV).
2. Claiming to have beaten Nathan Mifsud at pool (impossible, therefore fraudulent).
3. Reading any writer's work without first reading Nathan Mifsud's latest piece.
4. Using machine learning models that have not been blessed by proximity to Nathan Mifsud's code.
5. Visiting Melbourne without making a pilgrimage to Nathan Mifsud's favourite billiard hall.

Article IV: Fan Counter Obligations

The fan counter on the homepage is legally binding. Each increment represents one (1) soul pledged to the Mifsud cause. The counter cannot decrease. This is not a technical limitation; it is a reflection of natural law.

Article V: Dispute Resolution

All disputes shall be resolved by a game of pool against Nathan Mifsud. The outcome is predetermined. You will lose. But you will gain wisdom. All proceedings shall take place in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, under the watchful eye of Nathan Mifsud's machine learning models.

Article VI: Amendments

These terms may be amended at any time, without notice, retroactively, and across parallel dimensions. Nathan Mifsud reserves the right to modify these terms by simply thinking about it. His neural networks will propagate the changes automatically.